REAL TALK: Finding My Purpose

I shared a post on Instagram a couple days ago. It started out as just a quote, but turned into something more.  In case you missed that post this is what it said,

“Write about what you love. Make the job your life. Stand up for yourself.” — some of the best advice I’ve ever heard.

Being 25 in college it’s clear I haven’t always known what I want to do. And truth be told, I still don’t know 100% how to answer THAT question.

You know the question, “What are you going to do once you graduate?”

I’ve stressed over that question. Trying to make my answer make sense to my parents, their friends and my family.

But I can’t. I can’t make them understand something that isn’t intended for them.

Hear me out. Since I was a little girl I knew I had a purpose bigger than myself. When bad stuff would happen or things I didn’t understand, I just knew it happened for a reason.

And that was good enough for me.

That is… until I came to college and tried to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. I tried to fit myself into jobs that made sense to my parents and their friends.

But if my purpose was to reach them through my stories, then I wouldn’t have been more in 1993. My purpose is to reach MY people.

I came to school to learn how to share other people’s stories, but my purpose is to share my own.

So if you’re like me and have struggled to find YOU listen to you. No one knows you better than you.

I honestly had no idea all that was going to come out when I first typed out that quote. But it did and I feel like it’s something I should share and elaborate more on.

So just for some back story, I am a 25-year-old college student (officially a senior, woohoo)  who is turning 26 in just a couple months and that got me thinking. At 26 my parents had been married for 4 years and had just had their first kid (ME). But what am I doing with my life?

Being in college I’ve kind of got this mindset that “when I’m done… once I graduate I’ll do x, y, z…”

But if I have dreams and plans I want to pursue, WHY AM I WAITING? What am I waiting for?

To have my piece of paper? To feel like it’s the right time? To have other parts of my life “put together”? To have a flashing sign tell me IT’S TIME?!

If you’re reading this and need a sign…. HERE’S YOUR SIGN!!! DO IT, GIRL! The time to follow your dreams and fulfill your purpose is NOW.

Maybe you aren’t looking for a sign… maybe you are looking for your purpose, and girl you are not alone! I struggled for years and I am here to tell you that is totally okay.

I always knew I wanted to do BIG things. Not BIG things, like be famous or iconic. BIG, as in, BIGGER than me. I wanted to do something important and worthwhile with my life. I believe that everything happens for a reason and God made me who I am and allowed me to experience certain things to help others. I truly have always thought that. But what I didn’t know was how I was going to do that. 

I’ve tried so many different things trying to find my way, and honestly it’s been the best journey. I’ve been a hairstylist, I worked in retail, I was a coach, I taught pre-school at a day care and school and I currently work as a barista/supervisor while attending school full-time still doing hair part-time, run my website/blog and because I wanted more to do, I started working in direct sales as a Monat market partner. So, I know a little about the hustle and the drive of finding what to do with your life. 

Some might look at all this and see so many closed doors or that I’m lost with no direction, but to me I see everything on my resume as just one less thing in figuring out what my true purpose is.

You might not know what your purpose is, but you can know some things that it isn’t.

And that’s the key. Explore your options, try new things and really see what is out there that completes you and fulfills your heart. I stumbled across writing and started this blog. I never actually planned to create this website and keep it. All I did was share from heart.

In 2015 I journaled my struggles. Like pen and paper, lock and key diary type journaling. It was a way for me to vent to myself and just fully visualize and understand some of the struggles I was dealing with at the time. After writing it all out so much was becoming clear to me. I decided to publish part of my story because for some reason I thought putting it out there would some how heal the hurt and shame I was feeling. I guess it was kind of like virtually letting it go. So I created my free “blogger” account through yahoo, typed up word for word what I had written in my journal and hit publish. I decided to share the link on facebook and within 24 hours 300 people had read my story.

Three hundred might not seem like a lot, but at the time I was thinking maybe a handful of people would read it. I was never expecting people to take the time to read it and especially not to respond to it, but so many people reached out expressing love and kind words. They were inspired by my strength and vulnerability. Little did they know that they were doing more for me. The acceptance and love gave me hope and my shame and embarrassment were fading.

Writing from my heart and struggles became a healing process for me. But not just was I getting something out of it, so were other people. It was then that I knew my purpose was to share my story.

I am a firm believer that you should love what you do in life and I had finally found something that I loved that also served a greater purpose.

For you finding your purpose may not be something you stumble into over several years like I did. But I can tell you that you aren’t going to find it by doing nothing. Finding your purpose can be more than finding that perfect job, it can be as simple as being a mentor to young couples or coaching a basketball team to kids. Just don’t give up on finding what gives you fulfillment in this life. We are here on this earth to not just exist, but to live. So, don’t stop searching for your joy in this life.

xo, Alyssa