Dear Little Sister, Choose Your Friends Carefully


Who you choose to be friends with is so important! While it may not seem like a big deal, who you spend your time with is who you start to be like. Have you ever hung around someone and later found yourself talking like them, using words or phrases that they do, adopting their attitude, or even acting like them?

Well, I have… I’ve had friendships that have changed me, that have influenced me negatively and got me off track from who I really wanted to be. I had a friend growing up that always had a bad attitude and she really just wasn’t a happy person. She was overcome by drama and gossip and relied on those things to dictate her attitude. The way the people close to you act has two ways of impacting you. One, they can cause you to act the same or two, they can cause you to realize you want nothing to do with that. In another friendship I changed and acted different because I wanted my friend to like me, but at the end of the day I wasn’t happy because I wasn’t being myself. Eventually, I had to cut things off because I had lost sight of myself trying to be someone I wasn’t. Breaking up with your best friend or a close friend is not easy, but like Kelsea Ballerini’s song goes, “I miss[ed] me more” than the person I was pretending to be.

As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.
— Proverbs 27:17

This verse emphasizes the importance of choosing good people to surround yourself with, people who share your interests, goals, beliefs, and who support you. Good friends know what you have done in your past, believe in your future, push you to be better, and have your best interests at heart. They stick up for you when you aren’t around and make you better. To them, you aren’t a final resort or last option, but rather a priority and important.

Bad company corrupts good character
— 1 Corinthians 15:33

This verse emphasizes how bad friends and negative people in your life can influence you. The saying, “a bad apple spoils the bunch” is so true!! One negative attitude can dampen the positivity of a group or friendship. Toxic friendships not only hurt you now, but they hold you back from joy and contentment and can hurt your future friendships. Bad friends don’t build you up and they don’t support you, they may even talk negatively behind your back. Evaluate your friendships and think about what your friends have brought to your life. Do they bring joy, smiles, love, and good memories? Or do they bring hurt feelings, sadness, bad memories, and dread?

“Good friends are like stars, you don’t always see them but you know they are there.”

I saw this quote on Pinterest and it reminded me of a friend who I have been close to for about eight years now and while we do not see each other everyday or talk daily, I know she has my back and I can always count on her. When we get together, it’s like we were never apart and that is the type of good friendship everyone needs. The quality of a friendship is much more important than the quantity of friends that you have.

I once received the following advice, “be the type of friend that you want to have”. Take the time to think about what type of person that friend is and try to be that for someone else. Get out of that toxic friendship where you leave her house feeling drained and exhausted and do better for yourself, find people who build you up and push you to be better. It’s okay not to have a best friend right now.

Oil and perfume make the heart glad, and the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel.
— Proverbs 27:9
And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.
— Hebrews 10:24

LOVE, Abby